The holidays can be a tough time when you’re struggling in your marriage. You want to set aside your differences and make the holiday season fun. You don’t want to ruin things for the children. Yet this time of year, many people are beginning to think about divorce.
How do you know you’re making the right decision? Your problems are long term and you haven’t been able to make the changes that are needed. Perhaps you’ve tried couples therapy but made little progress. Perhaps your spouse won’t admit how serious the situation is.
The reality is that no one but you can know for certain if it is time to file for divorce. There is no marriage manual that explains when it’s time to make new choices in life. Only you can decide.
With that said, there are some common signs that a marriage is in trouble. You’ve grown apart. You no longer connect as you used to. You’re wondering if the marriage is necessary to your happiness any longer. You’re starting to resent your spouse.
If you’re talking to your friends about your marriage problems but not your spouse, that could be a significant clue that communication between you and your spouse has broken down.
If your marriage no longer allows for individual achievement and joint growth, you may need to find a new path. People go through different chapters in a marriage, and even a major dispute may not lead to divorce. But some disagreements go to the fundamentals of the relationship.
Take steps to save your marriage: conciliation court
You’re a family, and you will be even if you get a divorce. But most people feel a strong sense of commitment to staying in a marriage if it can be done.
Here in Arizona, the superior courts offer conciliation court services to help you come to the right decision. This involves a conference with a trained marriage and family professional. The conference is entirely private and confidential, and no one will try to coerce you into a reconciliation. It’s simply a way to help you make an informed, thoughtful decision about whether to end your marriage. If you desire, you can be referred to more family counseling through community-based services.
You can request conciliation by filing a petition. You do not have to have a divorce already pending. Once your petition for conciliation is accepted, a cooling off period goes into effect and neither spouse can file for legal separation or divorce until that period is over.
Ultimately, try to be as forgiving and honest as you can be. Only you and your spouse can make the final decision.